From Good to Grate(ful)!
Tips on How to Raise a Grateful Child
By Kim Boyle and Loraine James
It is every parent’s desire to raise their children in a way that will teach them to be grateful for what they have, and not to always want for more. It is important to recognize the difference between teaching your child manners by training them to say “please” and “thank you”, and helping your child to have an appreciative and generous nature. “Raising a grateful child is an ongoing process.” (www.parenting.com) Below are examples of everyday situations that arise, and examples of how you can use these moments to develop a more grateful attitude in your child.
1) Does your child have a running list of toys to be acquired?
When presented with a lengthy list of desired toys, encourage your child to make up a list equal in length of things he is willing to give. Items on this list could include helping out around the house, or donating gently used toys to charity.
2) Has your child ever had difficulty hiding disappointment when he receives a gift that is unwanted?
Although this might be embarrassing for you as the parent when this occurs, try to remember that hiding disappointment to protect someone else’s feelings is a complex concept that takes time to develop. Here are some practical ideas. First, it is always a good idea to prepare your child in advance before a gift giving occasion. Remind them that the thought is what should be most appreciated – not the gift. If you sense that disappointment is on the rise, you could also diffuse the situation by stepping in and modeling an appropriate response to help remind your child of the right thing to do. Later in private, validate your child’s feelings by acknowledging that he did not get exactly what he wanted, but point out the positives about what he did receive.
3) Does taking your child on routine errands often turn into begging session to convince you to buy him something?
Sometimes it seems easier to cave in and let your child have the inexpensive object of his desire at the store than to be distracted by the whining. However, this will only teach your child that whining is a good strategy to get what he wants. Even though grocery shopping, errands, etc. are an unavoidable part of life, try not to make it the focus of family time. We do not want children to think of buying things as a leisure activity. However, when you do take your child shopping, have the conversation before you leave that you will not be purchasing anything other than what is on your list. Remind him of this if the whining starts, and stick to your guns!
4) Has your child ever refused to thank someone for doing something nice for him?
It is important not to let this moment turn into a battle of wills. Keep in mind that if your child does not say thank you, this probably means that it has not become a habit yet. The best way to help this along is to model this behavior yourself. If you engage in a power struggle and embarrass your child, he will be less likely to thank people in the future.
5) Is your child constantly comparing what he has to what his friends have?
It is perfectly acceptable to sympathize with your child in this situation. However as parents, we need to help our children to put things in perspective and realize that although there are children with much more than they may have, there are also many more children in the world who have a lot less. Nothing will drive this point home more clearly than actually exposing your children to people on all economic levels. By making charity work a priority in your family, your children will more easily be able to appreciate the blessing in their own lives.
Reference: www.parenting.com., 5 Ways to Raise a Grateful Child.
